The Tale Of My Mother’s Love And Perseverance

Not everyone’s life is perfect; in fact no one’s life is ever truly perfect. Let me illustrate this with a few snippets from my mother’s – and inevitably from my own – life.

My Beginning

Being a girl born in a traditional household, my birth was not celebrated even though I was the first baby daughter in the entire extended family. However, my unsung birth did not become my identity as the woman who gave birth to me ensured that I was loved and taken care of. Following my mother’s lead, my father too started extending the the love that he had up until then reserved only for my elder brother.

Read: Pakistanis Fed-up Of Child Marriages, Demand To #RaiseTheAge

But this is not my story; not in essence at least. This is the story of my late mother who herself had a very difficult life but who remained a source of love and comfort for anyone who entered her warm embrace.

My Mother’s Tale of Love and Perseverance

My mother was in 10^th grade – a mere child – when she was married. She was married at an age when one can’t vote; the age when law does not allow one to drive or hold a National Identity Card because a 15 or 16 year old is considered too young to make important decisions or be able to effectively judge right from wrong. Ironically, when it came to marriage, her family and community did not seem to comprehend the life of endless struggle that they were willingly pushing my mother into as a child bride.

Being truly resilient, she coped with her situation very well. With her selflessness and love she even won over my (initially) disapproving grandmother.

Read: Whispers Of A Broken Heart

For a while there everything was perfect. My mother was my father’s strength; a pillar of support for him and her 5 children. We were the happiest family in the world, gleefully oblivious of the darkness that was about to befall us.

The Beginning of My Mother’s Hardships

Our happy family suddenly spiraled into darkness following the murder of my younger uncle because of personal enmity. He had married twice. His second wife (with whom he had a love marriage) was left financially crippled following his sudden death.

With my mother’s permission, my father married my uncle’s second wife. Many might not be able to comprehend but my mother was actually glad that my father was giving respect and restoring stability in the life of his brother’s wife. My mother, however, put forth one condition: my father would not have children with his second wife as he already had 5 children to fend for and my mother did not want us to suffer. At the time my father readily made the promise but he could not honor his word in the long run.

Read: It Is Mashal Khan’s Birthday Today And We Wish We Could Return Him To His Family

Suddenly, we were no longer a united, happy household. Every new day would begin with quarrels. Our stepmother wanted my late uncle’s first wife and children kicked out of the house but my mother acted as a shield to protect the rights of my cousins. She not only treated her own children well but also gave importance and love to my uncle’s children.

As if life was not hard as it was with all the negative energy doing rounds in our house, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She suffered from the disease for 2 years but refused to lose hope, fighting resiliently with the disease.

But luck was seemingly never on her side. Just when surgery and regular medical treatment were indicating towards full recovery, my elder brother passed away following a shootout on the Independence Day.

Years of struggling through the stressful environment at home, fighting cancer and losing her beloved child had all taken a toll on her. Still, for a few months following the death of my brother, mother tried to remain strong for her remaining four children but soon she felt the symptoms of cancer once again.

At this point, perhaps after resigning to fate, my mother sat me down and said, “I fought for you all as best as I could but my time has come, Kainat. Take care of your siblings the way I did and be strong the way I was.”

When She Left…

The lady who was the unifying force for the entire family, who gave just as much love to my cousins as she did to her own children; the lady who was her daughters’ best friend and a source of strength for my father left the mortal world leaving behind a legacy of selflessness. It is perhaps because of this that my father is not the man I’ve known for years. He is now a source of unconditional love for all his children. For us, he has quickly assumed the role of both the mother and the father.

However, what they say is true: there is no substitute for a mother.

Read: Child, Mother & Development

Thus, to all of you reading this, I have but this request: keep your mobile phones and other distractions aside to give time to your mothers. Give them respect, shower them with your love. Be very thankful that you still have your mothers by your side.

And if my readers are women, please embrace your goodness. We have in us the power to overcome every hardship but only a woman of true strength and faith in her own self can understand and exercise this power.