The second edition of International Pakistan Prestige Awards (IPPA) took place last weekend in London and for the first time, we aren’t swooning over some star couple. Pakistani High Commissioner to the UK, Sahibzada Ahmed stole all the limelight that night when he got on the stage and tried to make a speech while being all drunk. It was a wreck! Celebrities seemed baffled when they couldn’t choose between being awkward or laughing their guts out. Jawed Sheikh’s, “JEE?” was how everyone felt that evening, making us realize that sober Pakistanis are so not prepared for a situation that involves a drunk high commissioner on stage. What are the odds!
But don’t worry my fellow countrymen, we have got you covered. Here are the things one should do when faced with such an embarrassing situation.
Pakistan's High Commissioner to the UK making an ass of himself at the Hum IPPA awards in London a few days ago pic.twitter.com/lX3DfJUU8G
— omar r quraishi (@omar_quraishi) September 11, 2018
1. Lock the Drunkard in a Washroom!
In testing times like these one has to make difficult decisions! Sure, there will be consequences because you locked a senior government official in a washroom. Apart from the public outrage and some straightening from the government, your career might also hit a rock bottom if the high commissioner concerned is well connected. However, it is worth all the risks! At least, that’s what we think after watching the above video.
2. Fake a Heart Attack!
In case you can’t get yourself to execute plan A because of cowardice and the HIGH commissioner makes it to the stage, as soon as s/he starts making a fool out of themselves you need to channel your inner Shabnam and fake a heart attack to distract the audience. If it works, good! If it doesn’t then you can always say it was scripted. Trust me, no one will notice. That’s how they make shows these days.
3. Go with the Flow!
Let’s suppose the situation is completely out of control now and damage control seems impossible, then you must do what Sarwat Gillani and Ahsan Khan chose to do at IPPA. Enjoy the moment and laugh it off!
4. Send an SOS Message to the Foreign Minister!
Inform the minister about the avalanche of embarrassment headed their way so that s/he can take needed measures to diffuse the situation.
Also, it’s totally their bad if they choose to ignore your message, thinking of you as just another creep. At least, post scene, you will get to sleep with the satisfaction that you did your part as a responsible citizen of Pakistan!
5. Push Lemons Down Their Throat!
Usually, lemons are despised because they symbolize the shit life throws at us every now and then. However, here the same lemon will come to your rescue. The fruit is used to kill the effect of alcohol and so, no matter how rude it looks, you have to push some lemons down the commissioner’s throat for his/her own good.