In-laws or should I say susralis are quite frankly among the most complicated of all relationships, especially for a woman living in a joint family. Sounds like a very negative statement to give but believe me, there is no such thing as a good susral. If someone claims that she is living a perfect life with her in-laws then there’s a good likability that she is lying. The 0.00001 percent of the women who actually might have good in-laws don’t matter since they are more like a few drops in the ocean which makes no difference whatsoever to the bigger picture.
We will not be talking about men here since they technically have nothing to fear about when it comes to their in-laws.
So, here are a few tips which might make a woman’s life a little easier, especially when she’s living with her in-laws in a joint family system.
Don’t Try to be a Super Hero
Taking initiatives is highly regarded when it comes to your professional life but let’s not apply this formula in your domestic married life. Just do what needs to be done to keep the daily life running. Don’t do anything extra which may include doing chores of other family members, always being available to help even if you are unwell or just not in the mood for it. Don’t exhaust yourself.
Now, I might sound like I am trying to turn you into a bad daughter-in-law but think about the time when you might really require a short break and your in-laws expect you not to take one or on a very general note, they wouldn’t understand that you need a break at all (!); what will you do then?
So, keep it simple and easy. Don’t raise their expectations too much. Just do as much as what would keep you in their good books. You don’t always need to be a superhero!
Never Talk Back
I am not asking you to go silent entirely but in my personal experience, unnecessary confrontation only makes life further complicated. In-laws who create drama and problems without a reason will not listen to your justification anyways so why have yourself labeled as someone who is ill-mannered or someone who talks back to the elders. The best way to get out of such situations is to use both your ears. Use one for hearing what’s coming your way and the other to let it go out.
This idea sounds very painful, I understand but when living in a joint family one has to be very careful about the battles that one picks.
Your Husband Needs to Stand Up for You
If you recently got married or are soon to get married then this is something you definitely need to take-up. You need to ensure that your husband supports you and is on your side.
For a start, he needs to politely communicate to his family about how they need to give you respect and he needs to draw a line between you and them. By drawing a line what I mean to say is that your relationship in the hierarchy needs to be understood. I have seen and known ladies who are stepped on by their in-laws no matter what their age is. You shouldn’t let this happen to you. If someone is younger than you in the family then they need to treat and address you with respect. If someone is older than you then they need to treat you with love and care. Just because you came from another house doesn’t mean people can step on you whenever and however they want.
The relationship you have with your parents is very different from what you have with your in-laws. Your parents love you and would do anything for you but your in-laws won’t. This is a fact that you need to accept quickly to make your life easier.
By being mature, I am simply saying that you need to understand that life with in-laws is very different. You will always be their daughter-in-law and for this reason, you need to act as a bigger person and mostly act older than your age to deal with any unwelcome situations with a pinch of salt.
Do you agree with these tips or do you have any tips to share?