There have been countless incidents in Pakistan where men were caught doing major behaya things but those events were ever-so-conveniently brushed under the carpet, and the onus of it all fell on women, eventually.
Yet another debate has started on social media after Imran Khan’s rape comment where people are protesting how women are time and again blamed for fahash and behaya acts, while men seem to get a clear chit.
So often men blame women for “provoking” them to act inappropriately, citing the women’s attire as the primary source of provocation and violence. However, what reason do they have to assault women who are not even alive?
Don’t be surprised if we tell you, there are men in our country who can even defend something as ghastly as that, and yes, for that too, put the blame on women.
2. Groping burqa-clad-women in broad daylight
Okay so we all know this popular notion and crass explanation that perpetrators give after assaulting women, saying “they asked for it,” because they were “immodestly” dressed. So, what explanation do they have for groping women who are covered from head to toe?
Oh yes, they must have this reason, woh ghar kyun nahi bethi, itni fikar hai tau, right?
However, whatever reasons they give, it won’t be wrong to say that the problem isn’t the dress, the problem is the power that such men want to have over women.
3. Assaulting minors
Purdah is not even farz on minors, yet they get sexually assaulted by adults in Pakistan. They can’t even “ask for it” and are still subjected to this major behaya act – largely by men. So, doesn’t this invalidate the whole “fahashi” discourse?
From minors, to teenagers and adults, a large majority of females in Pakistan have witnessed a classic case of exhibitionism at least once in their lifetimes.
So, technically women need not get out of their homes, stay behind chaar deewaris, wear shuttlecock burqas, but men cannot keep it in their pants?!
Does that not come under behayai? If yes, so why do they get away with it so easily – I mean literally in broad daylight?
5. Harassment at workplaces and educational institutions
Unsolicited touching and advances are not something new for women in Pakistan. At colleges, offices or out on the streets, they’ve been subjected to this grave violation of their space at least once in their lifetimes. Even if they try to ward off such advances verbally or physically, the matter doesn’t only fall on deaf ears but more often than not the complainant is labelled as a “problematic woman in a public place!”
In the simplest of words, a woman who is harassed at her workplace or educational institution or anywhere else for that matter should not and cannot be blamed for a man’s act of sexual aggression. The onus lies squarely on men – or the perpetrator – and not on the victim or survivor.