The moment of reckoning was upon me. He had called me to announce his final decision. My mind and heart were in a state of complete chaos as I drove.
Like always my heart was anxious to see him; to be with him. My mind however, was anxious for other reasons. It worried about the impending decision and whether I would be able to handle it.
With these chaotic thoughts feeding on my energy, I finally reached the place where we had agreed to meet. He was already there, waiting for me to arrive.
The moment our eyes met, I could not help but break into a smile. Somehow just the sight of him was enough to cheer me up.
However, that fateful day my smile was not reciprocated with the usual warmth. Instead, I was greeted with a cold gaze. At once an alarm bell began ringing in my head. However, I ignored the dreadful feeling of despair as I walked towards him. After all one mere alarm bell was not powerful enough to wipe out the love and trust that had been built over the last nine years.
“We need to sit down and talk,” he said, once I stood before him.
Silently, we walked towards the nearest bench in the park. During this brief walk, not once did he reach out to hold my hand or look at me with the affection that I had become so accustomed to over the years.
Once we were seated, he began talking. “I have loved you with all my heart all these years. But I am in a very difficult position right now. My family and community will not understand our love and I will never be able to give you the life that you deserve.”
Making a superhuman effort to control the avalanche of anguish that was crushing my already broken heart, I pleaded my case, “Talk about yourself. The only things that I want are your love and companionship. Nothing else matters to me.”
“Think with your brain and not your heart,” he responded. “And either way, this is my final decision.”
With this statement, he had in fact ended nine years of our relationship in merely nine minutes.
Unable to stay calm, I quickly got up and began taking long strides towards my car. He silently followed behind. Once in the car, I put the key in the ignition and slowly began driving away. However, my gaze was fixed on him through the rare view mirror. I did not as much as blink my eyes while he was still in sight. However the moment his figure faded, I could no longer control the dams of my eyes from breaking down.
Wanting to calm my nerves, I parked my car near a flower shop. Watching me shed hysterical sobs, the shop keeper ran towards my car and asked, “Sister, who died? How many flowers do you need for your loved one’s grave?”
Broken to the core I replied, “The love I had cherished more than anything else has died and its is situated deep in my broken heart. Please bring me a handful of flowers so I can finally bury the remnants of what was once a love that could never fail me.”
Note: The name and identity of the author has been changed to protect her privacy.