Marriage is perhaps the most complex of all relationships. On one hand it is the most intimate relationship and on the other hand this same intimacy can become a source of resentment.
When we know someone as closely as one knows his/her spouse, it becomes impossible to not have disagreements. Now disagreements on their own are not necessarily bad things. However, the intensity of a disagreement, the tone in which it is communicated coupled with its emotional value impact a marriage.
Of course, disagreements are not the only aspect in a marriage that can cause trouble. There are many factors that ultimately decide whether or not a marriage will last the trial.
Let’s take a look at the five most obvious signs that your marriage might be in trouble.
You Argue About the Same Things Again and Again
As I pointed out earlier, there’s absolutely no harm in arguing. In fact an argument is the most natural thing when two people are living under the same roof.
However, there is good reason to worry if you keep having the same argument(s) again and again. This means that your spouse and you are unable to resolve conflict by maturely addressing the issues that bother one or the other.
Unresolved conflicts are often a leading cause for breaking down a marriage. So, if your spouse has been complaining about the same thing for a while, it would be a good idea to make adjustments if you want your marriage to last.
One of You Is Cheating or Has Cheated in the Past
No relationship – least of all a marriage – deserves betrayal. When one or both the partners look elsewhere for carnal and emotional satisfaction, it is the biggest indicator that their marriage is in big trouble.
Even if the unfaithfulness was a “one-time thing,” healing from such treachery is not easy for the betrayed partner.
However, if despite such an episode, the bereaved spouse decides to give the marriage another chance, the unfaithful partner will have to give the necessary time and space to him/her to heal. They will have to go many extra miles – including remaining respectful and calm in the face of extreme bouts of anger – to restore the trust of their spouse back in their marriage.
You Hide Your Finances from Each Other
For any marriage to survive, the most important aspect is trust. An indicator of the fact that a married couple is experiencing trust deficit is when they start concealing their finances from each other.
Try to be as honest and transparent as possible with your spouse in every aspect of your collectives lives, including finances.
You Constantly Shame Each Other
An obvious sign that your marriage is in trouble comes when you or your partner begin shaming each other on every constantly.
Normally, the alarm bells should begin ringing when one or both the partners feel the need to talk down every opportunity that they get. However, what seems to seal the deal is when the couple can’t stop complaining about each other in front of others.
This reflects an acute lack of respect and affection – and what is a marriage without them?
You Don’t Feel Safe with Your Spouse
The most serious and obvious sign that your marriage is in trouble is of course the occurrence of any form of violence, whether physical, emotional or psychological.
When the power dynamics in a marriage are such that one spouse lives in fear of the other, there is frankly no reason for that marriage to continue. A marriage – more than any other relationship – needs to be built on trust and love rather than fear and suppression.